Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She told me I should be a condom model.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
