Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i came on her dog
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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