Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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