so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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