I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
