pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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