when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
