I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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