btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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