okay pat passed out under dana's car
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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