who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
