Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
