it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
