bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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