Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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