this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
