I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Found the puke drawer
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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