her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize