I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
