no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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