so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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