I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
