I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
