My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
