i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
