FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
