so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
