i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
operation harelip BJ is a go
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
