Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
