I'm going to jail i love you
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
