Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize