We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
