I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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