I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
