I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
