I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
