The maid of honor just puked.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
