My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
