The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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