No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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