My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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