yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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