Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
