Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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