Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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