I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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