Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
