I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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