sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
