bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
