Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
