So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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