everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
