omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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