did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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