school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
