he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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