is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
