Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize